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  1. #1
    Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check? AOD Member AOD_TheRealDon's Avatar
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    So Proof Reading Request

    Ok guys my job is asking me to write a professional bio for myself, and since it is intended to give someone my history as well as a first impression I figured if any of you would would be willing to read it and make any suggestions or corrections it would be greatly appreciated.

    Donald Spaw is a Program Coordinator with the Scout Reach Program here at Pikes Peak Council, BSA. Donald most recently had been active with Camp Alexander, working as the Aquatics Director for both summer camp for the Boy Scouts and the Cub Weekends in the fall for Cub Scouts. Donald also has an extensive scouting history starting with Pack 99 from Peterson AFB where he earned his Arrow of Light award. He went to join Troop 127 at Holy Apostles church, learning many of the skills scouts are expected to learn and going on to earn his Star rank and hold the position of Senior Patrol Leader before moving to Troop 199. In Troop 199 he made the highest rank of Eagle Scout in 2009 and continued to serve as a leader for the younger boys. Besides just Boy Scouts, Donald also became part of Venturing Crew 2008, working on higher level outdoor skills and leadership in the coed program. At the same time Donald was working on his own scouting advancement he also worked as camp staff at camp Alexander from 2005 to 2009 and again in 2013 and 2014. Serving as a Staff in Training for 2 years he learned valuable skills such as teaching fellow scouts, improving his leadership abilities, and discovering a passion for the aquatics program. He then became aquatics staff working at both the lake and pool at camp, and went on to become the Assistant Aquatics Director of the lake, and finally the Aquatics Director after attending National Camping School. With 5 years as a Cub Scout, 7 as a Boy Scout And 8 Years of Venturing And Camp Staff, he will bringing much experience with him as well as the passion to help others and lead the future leaders of tomorrow.

  2. #2
    If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
    AOD_BoomBoomStick's Avatar
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    Donald Spaw is a Program Coordinator with the Scout Reach Program here at Pikes Peak Council, BSA.
    Donald most recently had been active with Camp Alexander,
    working as the Aquatics Director for both summer camp for the Boy Scouts and the Cub Weekends in the fall for Cub Scouts.
    Donald also has an extensive scouting history starting with Pack 99 from Peterson AFB where he earned his Arrow of Light award.
    He went to join Troop 127 at Holy Apostles church, learning many of the skills scouts are expected to learn
    and going on to earn his Star rank and hold the position of Senior Patrol Leader before moving to Troop 199.
    In Troop 199 he made the highest rank of Eagle Scout in 2009 and continued to serve as a leader for the younger boys.
    Besides just Boy Scouts, Donald also became part of Venturing Crew 2008, working on higher level outdoor skills and leadership in the coed program.
    At the same time Donald was working on his own scouting advancement he also worked as camp staff at camp Alexander from 2005 to 2009 and again in 2013 and 2014.
    Serving as a staff in training for 2 years he learned valuable skills such as teaching fellow scouts,
    improving his leadership abilities, and discovering a passion for the aquatics program.
    He then became aquatics staff working at both the lake and pool at camp, and went on to become the Assistant Aquatics Director of the lake,
    and finally the Aquatics Director after attending National Camping School.
    With 5 years as a Cub Scout, 7 as a Boy Scout And 8 Years of Venturing And Camp Staff,
    he will bringing much experience with him as well as the passion to help others and lead the future leaders of tomorrow.


    This makes it easier to read




    For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
    And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed,
    And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
    And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still.

  3. #3
    If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? AOD Member AOD_B.Rubble's Avatar
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    Learn to amalgamate the information relating to one thing..that is to say

    Daniel Sparrow has been the Program coordinator at Pikes Peak Council/BSA Camp Alexander, Where He has led the aquatics program for summer camp for the boy scouts as well as the cub weekends in the fall for cub scouts. His extensive experience in Scouting, beginning at Peterson AFB/Troop 99 where He earned His arrow of light award, before joining troop 127 to complete His basic skills expected of every Scout. He gained His patrol star,as well as attaining the status of Senior Patrol leader! Troop 199 was the next stop for Mr. Sparrow,where He attained Eagle scout and continued in His passion for leading Younger Scouts in their quest to become the best. Extra-curricular activities such as the Venturing crew,where He learned High level outdoor skills and leadership in a co-ed environment.

    Returning to Camp Alexander as Staff in training for 2 years..etc and so forth.Professional, but conversational. Include a "Bibliography' or time-line either pre-paragraph or post. Showing the dates/places. This shows that You have the ability to place information in a timely/professional manner,and understand the needs/desires of those who are staffing positions later on. They will remember "This guy was a aquatics director as well as staff member..He knows this stuff' having had it drilled into their head TWICE! Yep,TWICE.Once by timeline,furthered by explanation.

    if u need help further drafting lemme know mate
    BRUBBLE

    Bringing BedrockBedlam to a Map near YOU
    "If ur gonna ride My ass,You better pull My hair

  4. #4
    Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check? AOD Member AOD_TheRealDon's Avatar
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    Thanks BoomBoom and B.Rubble, and B.Rubble you figured out how I 2antwd to say something but couldn't get it right much appreciated.

  5. #5
    If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
    AOD_BoomBoomStick's Avatar
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    leave it up to Rubble to be the language magician....
    And here I was being a dutch guy thinking that my english was pretty good......thx for setting me straight again Mr Rubble. :(''
    Last edited by AOD_BoomBoomStick; 09-15-2015 at 04:23 PM.




    For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
    And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed,
    And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
    And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still.

  6. #6
    If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? AOD Member AOD_B.Rubble's Avatar
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    Your english is spot-on BoomBoom. I'm just DAMN good w/words-writing...one of the few skills I have actually,lol.
    BRUBBLE

    Bringing BedrockBedlam to a Map near YOU
    "If ur gonna ride My ass,You better pull My hair

  7. #7
    "Every day is a beautiful day" - Elwood P Dowd AOD Member AOD_BBadenov's Avatar
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    Lived 5 years in Woodland Park (worked in the Springs), right in your neck of the woods.........cool place


 

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